OHAFC Match Report – 29/11/2003: Old Harrovians 7 Old Cholmelians 4

“Just like the old days…”

The Harrow side began the run-up to Christmas in good spirits and on the back of two excellent home victories, both when fielding weakened teams. The visit of Cholms was expected to be another tough game however, the first match between the two sides producing an enthralling 3-3 draw back in the September sunshine. On this occasion a bitingly cold wind and grey skies were to accompany the game which kicked off at 11.30am to accommodate the Harrow socialisers-in-chief, Messrs R & H Hoffen, who had to attend an afternoon wedding.

Harrow lined up with Rowley Higgs at centre-half, alongside the man with the Inspector Gadget legs, Tim Dalton. Other than that, Harrow was at full strength, with Bert Worthy retaining the number one jersey and the famous front six all present and correct, Lederman returning on the right wing for his first game in two months, following his torn hamstring.

As the scoreline would suggest, defending was not on the menu this week. Harrow began its meal with a couple of sumptuous strikes from captain Baker and vice-captain Hoffen H, Quentin firing home from the edge of the box, Harry capitalising on a spilled catch by the visiting goalkeeper to nod home from a few yards out. But Harrow celebrations were premature. Cholms equalised after half an hour with a moment of inspiration or cheek, depending on which side of the pitch you were on. A foul 30 yards from the Harrow goal was met with the standard formation of a defensive wall by the Harrow boys – what was not so standard was the Cholms central midfielder, Matt O’Neill, who had an excellent match, firing the ball past a bemused Bert whilst he was still trying to organise the wall: the moment the ball was struck, Bert was still holding onto one of the goalposts!

Harrow was momentarily subdued, but it didn’t take long for a response, and what a response it was, with a goal right up there with Carlos Alberto’s strike in the 1970 World Cup Final. Charlie Tweddle (‘Twodõaldo’) won the ball in the left-back position and immediately switched play to the right, via Tim Dalton, where Lederman was waiting on the halfway line. Right on cue, right-back Nick Warner scootered up the wing to create the overlap, and having been fed, produced a perfect cross to the near post, polished off first-time by Harry Hoffen. It was a goal borne out of simple, classic football, in which over half the team were involved, and it returned the home side once more to a two-goal cushion.

At this stage, Harrow should have closed out the first half and looked forward to a comfortable three points. As is so often the case however, just when the Blues were on top, they allowed their opponents back in with a chance. A very poor goal was conceded, one of the Cholms midfielders being allowed to run through the inside-right channel almost unchallenged, before firing past Worthy from a narrow angle. Typical of so many Harrow performances, the goals being scored were down to excellent football, the goals being conceded were down to sloppiness and lapses in concentration.

A single-goal advantage at the break was scant reward for Harrow efforts in the first half, but in a devastating half-hour after the break, the Harrovians dispelled any doubts about the outcome of the game with a four-goal salvo which would have had the press, had their been any present, running out of superlatives to describe their play.

The fourth goal, Harold Hoffen’s hat-trick strike, was a measure of things to come: a perfectly-timed run saw the half-whippet, half-humanoid creature race down the left with the last Cholms defender in front of him. Eschewing his favoured right side, Harry decided to ‘roast’ the defender on the outside before firing an unstoppable left-foot shot across goal and in off the far post.

Harry was again involved in the fifth goal a few minutes later, although this time he needed a little help. Put clean through, Harry’s hesitation when faced with only a goalkeeper to beat was again apparent as he dallied in front of goal. Fortunately, David Lederman had also joined him in attack and as the chance appeared to be slipping away, the right-winger calmly curled the ball into the top corner past the stranded keeper, Cholms appealing voraciously for offside.

At 5-2 the game was over as a contest, but the Harrovians were ‘on fire’ and didn’t want the game to end. Baker scored his second, finishing off a Lederman through ball and the wide man was again the provider for the seventh, Molloy heading home from a corner, the keeper taking the bizarre decision of positioning himself several yards behind the goal line before trying to save it.

It was as close to champagne football as you are going to see in the Arthurian League and despite the late concession of two Cholms goals, mainly thanks to the Harrow defenders trying desperately to get their names on the scoresheet (at one stage things got so bad Rupert Hoffen found himself at centre-half – yes, you read correctly), the result was the least the Harrow play deserved. Individually and collectively the team performed magnificently, although special mentions this time must go to two of the defenders: Rowley Higgs was calm and assured in his first real test at centre-half and Nick Warner appeared to have been possessed by the spirit of Cafu for the afternoon – his hair, which now enables him to claim disability benefit, appearing not to hinder him in the slightest as he ‘bombed’ up and down the touchline.

The result leaves the team top of the Premier Division for the first time since their promotion to the division four years ago and although it is extremely tight at the top, there must now be a genuine feeling within the squad that the Championship is a realistic target.

Harrow (4-4-2):

Bert Worthy; Nick Warner, Tim Dalton, Rowley Higgs, Charlie Tweddle; David Lederman (sub: Jamie Waugh, 60mins), Paul molloy, Quentin Baker, Piers Bourke; Harry Hoffen, Rupert Hoffen