It’s a brisk Saturday morning. It’s 10am. The 3rd XI are all, in dribs and drabs, making their separate ways across West London to... well, West London. Were the side in Division 5 North (as per last season), an early kick off coupled with an away fixture is exactly the type that would have seen the side without a goalkeeper and playing with 9 men for 45 minutes. Now in Division 5 South, Saturday mornings are a much more luxurious affair with Nick Kapoor often remarking he even has time for a full English on game day. However, this laid-back, laissez faire approach has come at a cost in recent weeks with most of the team often looking like they’d been round at Kapo’s for a spot of pre-match munch – winless in 7 games this season. 

On Saturday, that all changed. A new formation raised eyebrows from a couple of Mike Bassett traditionalists who remained that 4-4-f***in’-2 could not be bettered. However, inspired by the reformation of Chelsea this season the 3’s decided to play 3 at the back, 5 in midfield and 2 up top.

The return of Harry Turner to the starting line-up was a welcome one and he played the centre back sweeper role as if he’d created it himself. However, his first touch of the season came not in his own half but from the penalty spot a mere minute into the game. Ned Callander broke through and the keeper brought him down. You’ve never seen so many sheepish men. Pom didn’t want it, neither did Ned. Newcomer Cadisch didn’t fancy it and Feather certainly didn’t. Turner sprinted from his own half into the box and slid the ball into the bottom corner. 1-0.

What followed was 40 minutes of unstoppable football. There wasn’t a single mistake. The back three of Umbers, Turner and Gray were in the game for all the right reasons. Cleaning up long balls and creating attacks from the back, the ball was passed around like it was a kick about on a Saturday morning. Indeed it was. Harry Bick at left wing-back was influential in attack and granite at the back. Luke ‘Victor’ Faber was equally immense. But it was the chemistry between old pals Ned Callander and Xander Cadisch that was causing all the trouble for the KCS back four. A flick here and a clip there and suddenly it was 3-0. Ned stormed onto another great ball from Cadisch, cooly slotting home after eight minutes and Cadisch latching on to a great team goal that started from a goal kick. By half time it could have been five or six. Ludo Callander and Pom Beeley in central midfield had controlled the game, every second ball was won and there was a calmness about Harrow that had not been seen for some time.

Needless to say, the second half was not so relaxing. The overall consensus was that if we could shut down KCS for the first 15 minutes the game was ours. 46 minutes: 3-1. The introduction of their number 9 troubled us and KCS started to dictate. There was some confusion over the new formation as Mukhadam and Hicks were introduced and Feather reverted to a 3-3-2-1-1 (a formation never before seen) which caused all sorts of issues. Eventually he managed to piece it back together and Hicks and Umbers started to link nicely with Mukhadam playing up top alongside Ned Callander, slotting into the void left by Cadisch with ease.

There followed a nervy half hour. Michael Nugent made a string of fine saves to keep the two goal gap which proved vital. You couldn’t help but feel that if it got to 3-2 it would inevitably end up at 3-3, in true 3rd XI style. Some last ditch defending was absolutely necessary; Ben Umbers took a volley to the face which knocked the hangover right out of him. Which was no mean feat. There was just no way through for KCS and in the dying seconds Cadisch won the ball on the right, a couple of cheeky step-overs and a terrible goalkeeping error made it 4-1. The 3s had finally got 3 points.

Long live 3-5-2.

Man of the Match has to be split between Harry Turner and Harry Bick. Turner commanding the game from the back and Bick tireless in defence and attack.