Seven games. Seven months. 31 weeks. 217 days.

However you chose to measure it, the gap to the last OHAFC 2s' victory in a competitive fixture was a long one. Last season's promotion celebrations had long since fallen flat. Amorous Azhar Khan's sweaty antics at the end of season party in Bunga Bunga were but a distant memory (photos still available on the dark net).

The challenge of proving oneself in the white hot battleground of the Arthurian League Division Two had unsettled many before the season's start: Ollie Curry chose a short cruise around Cape Horn and the exotic Indian Ocean ahead of an even shorter cruise around the North Circular Road and the even more exotic Fairlop Oak; Max Curry chose the excitement of an accountancy placement in sunny Australia over the excitement of a central midfield placement in a first ever League fixture with the Radleians in windy Twickenham; Gbeminiyi Soyinka, the scourge of lower league defences over the past decade, now felled by injury, his painful knee reducing him to sporadic substitute appearances; and there were other heroes of yore too who now appear as mere footnotes in the ever-lengthening tale of life with the OHAFC 2nd XI - whither Johnny Lalude anyone? (We've checked all the local gymnasia).

The path to the team's shocking 0 and 6 start was long and twisting, strewn with numerous goal concessions from a myriad of sources, individual errors dropped like leaves from the trees. Hacked clearances, misplaced passes on the edge of the box, failure to mark at free-kicks, failure to mark at corners, a general failure to mark anyone at any time, 'keeping blunders, harsh penalty concessions, even harsher penalty concessions and, most ludicrous of all, the damned insolence of the opposition in scoring direct from a corner in the last minute of the game (yes Charterhouse 2s' left-footed maestro of whippage, I'm looking at you).

Even skipper Geoff Taunton-Collins, normally the coolest of cool cats, had shown signs of being slightly ruffled in recent weeks. His usually astute pre-match tactical instructions had become long-winded and nonsensical. Formation diagrams were promised then not displayed. When they were shown, they looked like they had been drawn up by his 22 year-old ex-girlfriend on Snapchat (snap: chunkythighs_999) The quest to prevent further goals being conceded led to an extra defender being deployed every week: the 4-4-2 became a 5-3-2, then a 6-3-1 and then, remarkably, a 7-1-2, with five centre-halves given strict instructions not to advance beyond their own penalty spot at any stage during the game and lone central midfielder Pablo Hutchinson asked to run continuously for ninety minutes between both penalty areas to link defence with attack, a role the paella-laden youngster was less than pleased with.

Despite all of this, spirits remained high in the camp ahead of Saturday's return fixture with KCS Wimbledon 2s. The away fixture in September saw the Blues on top in the first half and lead at the break courtesy of a Jack Alhadeff tap-in from a strangely-accurate Geoff Taunton-Collins cross. Allowing one of the giant KCS centre-halves a free-header from six yards out a minute into the second half was not in the pre-match briefing, nor was an instruction to play like West Ham (who were to concede three at home to Spurs shortly after the final whistle in Wandsworth), the result a dispiriting 2-1 win for Wimbledon.

Nothing was left chance in the build-up to the game. Taunton-Collins' long-held belief that the team performed better when he wasn't spending three nights a week in Eight over Eight with some extra from Made in Chelsea he had met on Bumble (it's a dating app, Fred) abruptly called an end to his relationship. Pre-match breakfast in Earls Court was held for the first time this season, Edmund Massey for some reason arriving dressed like a school monitor (fortunately he stopped short of asking Woolley to be his fag and warm some crumpets for him over the fire). 2s legends Azhar Khan and Jack Orr-Ewing, whose strange friendship left some members of the squad wondering just what had gone on behind closed doors in Chatsworth Court, were both welcomed back into the fold, Jack as defensive super-sub, Azhar as rent-a-crowd sideline bore, tasked with shouting inanities such as 'Let's get a second Harrow' moments after a first goal had been scored. It was a role he fulfilled tremendously, especially in the absence of the two season ticket holders Fred & Jackie Woolley, who disappointingly chose to fly off to sunny Fuerteventura just as the team needed them.

An interesting squad of 13 was tasked with righting the wrongs of the previous six games. Gap year student Will Swan made his debut in central midfield and pacey Doug Morrison returned after a year out with injury to take his place up front alongside Jack Alhadeff, who disappointingly, if unsurprisingly, again arrived looking as if he had just taken part in a charity overnight sleep out on Oxford Street. Pablo Hutchinson and David Lederman would compete with two KCS Wimbledon players for the prestigious 'Most Rotund Central Midfielder of the Day' award, but thankfully the back five had no such problems: Taunton-Collins, Woolley, Massey, Ward and Hovey all looking as if pre-match breakfast could have done with being considerably more substantial. Vice-captain Kyri Pittalis returned in goal, appearing to have had a correctly-sized breakfast. Will Payne was named on the bench, allowing him a few precious extra minutes at home to trim his rather ratty goatee beard.

Earlier rain had left Phil pitch 1 in supreme condition, with the freshly-mown field glistening with a sheen similar to that of Taunton-Collins' hair.

Referee George Patriche, a familiar face who has already seen at first-hand the struggles the team has faced this season, arrived to dish out some expert pre-match advice. 'It's football, ok,' he informed the group, suddenly finding themselves immensely thankful that the Arthurian League had not converted overnight into a basketball competition. It was a speech to rival any given by Fred Richardson in terms of pointlessness - a concept the OHAFC 2s had long-since had enough of.

KCS began the game well, passing the ball confidently for ten minutes without generating much of a threat. But Harrow, urged to be more confident in possession, grew in stature and for the remainder of the half played some excellent, incisive football. Employing two quick, direct attackers in Morrison and Alhadeff proved revelatory with both players willing to run the channels and provide outlets for the rest of the team to use, something they did with good effect. Wing-backs Hovey and Taunton-Collins ventured forwards whenever possible, the skipper at one point over-running the ball for a goal kick and emitting a loud 'Gahhhhhhhh!' as he realised the futility of the final few yards of his chase.

The best chances for the home side initially arrived from corners, with several causing sheer panic inside the Wimbledon box. From the first, Tom Ward sent a bullet header flying towards goal only for it to be blocked on the line. The second saw the ball drop inside the six yard box and hacked clear. Several others saw the ball skim off Harrow heads as Wimbledon struggled to pick up their men. Rollo Hovey then hooked a neat volley back across goal from yet another failed clearance only for the ball to bounce agonisingly back off the underside of the crossbar.

The hosts were not to be denied however and scored the goal their enterprising play deserved thanks to excellent perseverance from Doug Morrison. The forward hassled and harried a Wimbledon defender inside his own area, showing excellent strength to shrug his man off the ball. As the visitors appealed hopefully for a foul, Morrison cut inside and cunningly clipped the ball in at the near post where there didn't appear to be a gap.

At the break Taunton-Collins was quick to suppress any signs of euphoria, correctly pointing out the similarities with the away fixture when the Blues had again enjoyed the better of the first half only to throw it all away with a woeful second forty-five minutes.

Curiously, the same pattern emerged this time around. KCS were far surer in possession after the break and, as Harrow bodies tired, spaces opened up for the visitors to exploit. Harrow's passing, so crisp and accurate in the first half, was now sloppy and careless. The game became stretched and both teams fought desperately to score the crucial second goal. Pittalis produced a couple of excellent saves, blocking a rocket of a shot with a strong punch clear before then racing off his line to smother at close-range. Wimbledon tails were up as they sensed a repeat capitulation could be on the cards.

Despite spending the majority of the half defending, the hosts had several gilt-edged chances to put the game to bed. As Wimbledon pressed forwards, Harrow too were left with space to exploit, although too often the final pass was delayed or never arrived. When it did, the forwards failed to take advantage. Alhadeff was played clean through but shot straight against the 'keeper; Payne then slipped in Lederman but after a slightly heavy first touch he was off-balance when he shot, again allowing the 'keeper to save low to his left.

The hosts were punished for their profligacy a quarter of an hour from time when a smart break down the Wimbledon right saw the ball whipped in low to the front post and a first-time finish fly into the roof of the net off Pittalis, the 'keeper powerless to react.

The goal again lifted the visitors and they threw everything at their opponents in the closing stages. The Harrow rearguard defended superbly, with players throwing themselves into challenges to block shots and crosses. As things became more desperate, Woolley was booked for complaining vociferously about the lack of an offside decision.

With time running down, it appeared as though both sides would be left with a measly point to show for their efforts. But that was when Lady Luck finally decided to pay Harrow Hill a visit. Two minutes from time a spell of Harrow possession saw an attack launched through the middle. The final pass was again wayward and a comfortable clearance seemed on. But Alhadeff had other ideas. Spying an opportunity, he raced across the box behind a defender and just got to the ball ahead of the 'keeper, who had unnecessarily raced from his line to intervene. Alhadeff was clearly fouled, the only question was whether or not it was inside the box. Referee Patriche blew immediately and pointed at the penalty spot. Despite some rather annoying antics from the goalkeeper, who insisted on bouncing the crossbar up and down as he prepared to take the spot-kick, Lederman remained unnerved and coolly sent his opponent the wrong way.

The sighs of relief could be heard all the way over in Murphys Irish Tavern in Fuerteventura. For the first time this season, the OHAFC 2s had won. And deservedly so. Despite suffering in the second half, the team could and should have scored several times before Wimbledon's late equaliser. The front two of Alhadeff and Morrison performed admirably, as did 'keeper Pittalis. Debutant Will Swan acquitted himself well, showing excellent understanding and positioning in the middle.

Bizarrely, despite it being early November and their first points of the season, the result lifts the Blues off the foot of the table, Lancing 2s replacing them. Although only a small milestone, some celebrations were in order. Taunton-Collins, Khan and Lederman popped round to Woolley's luxuriously-appointed shoebox to watch the West Ham v Liverpool non-event.

Whilst Khan wandered round Tesco in search of BBQ chips and popcorn, the skipper dialled up a portion of steamed mussels from his favourite Italian restaurant on Deliveroo. Woolley was not amused, the tangy, fishy smell contaminating his pristine living quarters. Khan returned, unhelpfully farting loudly as he walked back through the door.

'Definitely time to go home' thought Lederman. It had been a long, successful and ultimately rather smelly day.