The draws for the Derrick Moore Veterans Cup and Plate have been released. Please click here to view the upcoming fixtures.

As one might imagine, reaction was mixed.

The supremely sophisticated Lancing supremo (Timothy Kemp - a better looking version of Daniel Craig and with far better diction) declared himself "delighted with an away trip to Essex".

No seriously, he did.

On the other hand, his equally urbane Etonian counterpart Michael Strutt (think Pierce Brosnan but the "Remington Steele" years), definitely thinking of his missed penalty in last year's classic final which almost cost his side the competition, was less than impressed:-

"Not happy. Not happy at all. Where on earth is Tonbridge?"

As he stroked his cat, he consoled himself with the thought that IF he could beat the Old Tonbridgians AND the Old Harrovians could defeat the Old Malvernians, he would then have the opportunity to roger the Harrovians some more (sic) in the semi-final.

One slight problem - the Old Malvernians have as their goalkeeper none other than the Arthurian League's chairman - Lord Mufty (Auric Goldfinger) and as we all know after his brilliant display in the Plate final last season which effectively won the trophy for the Malvernians - he's the man with the midas touch.