After a difficult opening game at altitude against Athletico Yunquera the OHAFC bravely marched on to face their second opponents Candor C.F. En route, Harrow's preparation was boosted by the kind people at McDonalds who prepared delicious Egg McMuffins and enough coffee to keep everyone awake for the next few hours. Ilogu stole the show by greeting the waitress with the following words: “HOLE-A. Uno BIG MACO Please”. Those 11 weeks of Spanish lessons pre-tour were turning out to be money well spent.

On arrival at the home of Candor C.F. the touring party were greeted by a more modest pitch than the previous match. In fact the pitch itself had seen better days (perhaps pre WW2). However, funnily enough it gave the team some much needed confidence playing in lesser surroundings as opposed to the grand stadium of Yunquera. Chopra, keen to suss out the opposition and ensure they were more of a standard he was accustomed to engaged with their manager in broken Spanish, explaining to him how David Villa had torn the side apart in the previous game and that many of the opposition players had called it a day at “Half Tiempo”. Candor C.F.’s manager and coaching staff immediately knew the real name of the David Villa look alike and described him as “Un player PHENOMENO” he then whispered in Chopra’s ear “Yunquera are fantastico. Today, with Candor, you will see NONE of this”. Confidence was restored.

Captain for the day was JAGUABAJWAJAUGARBAJWABAJWA after his sterling display in the 4-0 defeat the previous day. Baj profoundly announced that OHAFC would be lining up with a back three of himself, Orr-Ewing & Woolley, Cooper and Taunton-Collins the wing backs, Kapoor & Curry holding with Gilbert in the hole behind Stead and Smith up top.

As the match kicked off and Lederman took his place in goal (hopefully for the last time in his career), the team noticed they were missing Tour Captain Azhar Khan. Azhar had last been sighted “just popping to the bathroom”. With fitness low and the sun beating down, no-one wanted to return to the changing room to search for him. 5 minutes after the proposed kick off time Khan returned with a harrowed look on his face. Khan had thought he had committed the perfect crime in relieving himself pre-game without anyone there to comment or suffocate. However, fate was against him and the door simply wouldn’t unlock. For 15 minutes Khan tried his best to climb under the door, over the door, to use the aged toilet brush as some kind of pole vault to propel him to freedom, the whole time being forced to suffer the pungent remnants of his own stomach slowly infesting his lungs. Eventually Khan was able to escape by expertly sliding the metal lock from right to left. It appears that the lock was in perfect working order... Khan was the broken one...

In the first few minutes Harrow took immediate control. The small crowd watched as the visitors passed the ball with some comfort as Candor stayed quietly in their own half remaining in perfect formation. Orr-Ewing was shocked and presumed that Candor had forgotten the game had kicked off. The Candor coach clearly had a plan. Harrow soon scored their first goal of tour, with “Alwight Son” Smithy excellently chipping over the Candor keeper after a neat through ball from Woolley. This lead was later doubled by a vicious left footed half volley from David “The Balloon” Stead.

Half-time arrived with Harrow keeping a clean sheet despite the defence's best efforts to score a comical own goal and some very strange dribbling out at the back from Lederman. The Candor coach was heard screaming and shouting at his beleaguered team at half time whilst most of the tourists were discussing the virtues of “finding the onion bag / aubergine”. The second half would see a marked change in the game with Candor taking advantage of some very strange goalkeeping to score five unanswered goals. Harrow, try though they might simply couldn’t match their opponents. When Gordon blasted a simple volley from a yard out over Candor's bar in the last few minutes, it was time to go home. However, the crowd did find a new hero in the form of Ilogu who was nicknamed “El Grand Diablo” for his powerful performance and boyish good looks.

Post-game the hosts treated OHAFC to €1 cans of beer and some expertly pickled carrots and cauliflower in ornate bowls much to the delight of Woolley who eagerly took down the recipe from the bemused waitress. Lederman was later seen walking off with a brown paper bag full of pickled treats; a Candor C.F. scarf and 5 free cans of beer. FIFA have since launched an investigation in to his goalkeeping antics.